Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
