I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
