Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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