id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
