Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Your cock deserves a montage
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Randomize
