sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
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