3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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