you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
