you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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