Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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