Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
