Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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