I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
did you just send me my own nude
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
All I want is dick and wine.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
