I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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