I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
