At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
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