I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
