I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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