one two three fourrrrnication!
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
