I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Umm I'm too high to move.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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