Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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