Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
