Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I have tasted many bathrooms
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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