i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
