i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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