Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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