she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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