fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
