ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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