Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
