i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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