she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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