Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
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