Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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