like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
