Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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