did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
