i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
