Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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