Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
