yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
