i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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