Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
