We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
