I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
