My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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