i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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