If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
A+ Viking dick
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
