the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
