I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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